Sometimes I feel like I have so many thoughts in my head that I can’t think.




Is that a brainstorm?

The other day I went down to the college and took the college placement test. It was a miracle that I didn’t have a panic attack, bolt from the room and run as far away as I could.

I sat in the waiting area to take the test and thought “what am I doing here, I don’t need to take a test to know how dumb I am, I already know that”. Luckily Clayton went with me to take the test himself, maybe he was just as nervous and terrified as I was and just didn’t let on.

So on with the storm…I got to thinking why do we study the things that we study. I don’t even know if I want to take any college classes but feel that I need to do something. I can’t see myself being a SECURITY GUARD til I’m seventy years old. I get the image in my head of the old bank security guard on the Andy Griffith Show. You know the one who would be asleep in the chair and he was so old you didn’t know if he was asleep or dead.

What does a 54 year old woman study in college? Will I finish school before I’m 70 or will I be like the woman I read about the other day who finally got her degree and then died the next day?

Derril is constantly ready and learning. Right now he is reading James Patterson’s AGAINST MEDICAL ADVICE and W. Cleon Skousen’s MODEL CONSTITUTION.
The Patterson book is just something to read on a break, the Skousen book is because he loves anything to do with history and government.

Doctrine and Covenants 130:18-19 says that whatever intelligence we attain unto in this life it will arise with us in the resurrection. And if a person gains more knowledge and intelligence in this life through his diligence and obedience than another, he will have so much the advantage in the world to come.

So I asked Derril, “what kind of knowledge and intelligence?”

How will studying the Constitution be of benefit in the next life? If I study numbers (I bombed the math part of the ASSET test so yes I need to go back to grade school to learn math) and spend years learning math, algebra, calculus…do you use fractions in the next life?

Derril says yes, that is what gods have to know. But then I wondered if god stuff or angel stuff isn’t more of a twitch your nose kind of thing or wouldn’t they just know how to do things?
Is there school or class in heaven, are there specialties because some will be better in physics so he might throw together a planet? Is there a clerk in heaven who will account for things that need to be accounted for? If everything is made up of intelligence will there be a guy who is in charge of intelligences, how many rock intelligences do we have for how many rocks?

See, the thoughts just spin and spin and I have a hard time grabbing on to them to try and make any sense.

Enough of that, my BRAIN HURTS!!!